Child stories are an excellent way to promote child development. You can use teaching material along with children’s stories to teach moral lessons, factual knowledge or emotional intelligence.

The beauty of using child stories in this way is that children learn without feeling like they’re “learning”; they learn by osmosis.

Using stories to teach also gets children to really think about things. They can actively get involved in the story rather than just passively listening to it or reading it.

So, how can YOU use stories in this way? When you follow these 7 simple steps, you’ll find that using stories to teach is incredibly easy, and fun, too!

#1 Decide what you want to teach

What do you want your child or students to learn? How do you want them to feel at the end of the “lesson”?

#2 Ask specific questions about events or characters from the story

Questions such as “why did this happen?”, “why did Santa do that?” or “how do think Billy felt?” are good examples. Try to get children to “analyze” the story - to think about why something happened and its consequences, the motivations and feelings of characters, etc.

#3 Relate the story to the child’s own life/experiences

This is KEY - by doing so the child will assimilate the lesson(s) of the story. It becomes more real and personal for the child. Ask questions like “how would you feel if…” or “do you ever feel like [character]?”

#4 Use props and visual aids

This is particularly useful for teaching factual information (e.g. anatomy), but you can also use it to provide visual cues that help children get into the story (imagine it more easily) and remember it better.

#5 Have them get physical

Besides getting them to think, you can get them to act out the story, perhaps even creating their own version of it. They’ll really feel like the story and its lessons are a part of them. Moreover, when children move their own bodies, the story becomes more real and personal for them. This also helps kinesthetic learners.

#6 Have them relate the story to the larger world

After you get them to relate the story to their own experience, you can really expand a child’s mind by having him or her relate the story to the larger world.

#7 Create a lesson plan

It’s obviously good to prepare, but you don’t need to spend a great deal of time on it, and even parents can create a simple lesson plan. You can also find ready to use lesson plans and children’s stories.
Conclusion

In my experience, “success” and “happiness” are not determined so much by talent and (technical) knowledge (although they are important, too) as they are by character and emotional intelligence. By using child stories to help build character and emotional intelligence, you can put your children or students on the path to lifelong success and happiness.

Paul Arinaga is founder of the Child Stories Bank.
http://www.child-stories-bank.com
The Child Stories Bank provides FREE original children’s stories as well as resources to help writers create and get their stories published, and a directory of child storybook illustrators.

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Being a step parent has unique challenges that are
not present in other family situations. To create a happy blended family, you must
balance respect and love with discipline and understanding. In this article, you will
learn what it takes to create a happy home environment for your blended
family.

When a single woman with children marries a single man with children, this union
should be viewed as more than the union of husband and wife—it is the joining of
two different cultures. Each family is a tribe unto itself and if this union is to work,
each step parent must respect the other family’s dynamics. Family dynamics are
often as different as night and day. This is why you must come to grips with the
idea that you have two different tribes living in your house.

So how does this work in a blended family? Before I answer that, take this first bit of
step parenting advice and appreciate the power of the birth family. Recognize that
your spouse is probably always going to be closer to his children than to yours.
Know that if you constantly criticize your spouse’s children, you are creating the
beginning of the end. Blood loyalties are usually stronger than marital ties. Although
this may change over time—and one day, you may feel as close to your step children
as your own—the process takes time and experience and only occurs when a
supportive, loving environment has been created first.

The next piece of step parenting advice is to respect your spouse’s family dynamics.
For instance, you may have a rigid children-do-not-talk-back rule in your family,
while your spouse may be willing to listen to what his children have to say and even
negotiate with them. If you try to impose your rules on your step children, especially
when they are rules they did not grow up with, they will rebel. When this happens,
they may use their father’s love for them to drive a wedge between you. It happens
subtly at first and you may not notice what is happening, until it is too late.
Although you are the adult and you have more power, never underestimate the
power of a child. Where possible, try to compromise parenting styles, as long as you
both agree to help each other act from this compromise.

If a situation escalates, allow your spouse to discipline his own children, while you
attend to yours. When he is disciplining his children, refrain from joining in or
agreeing through words or body language. Be a silent bystander, so the child won’t
feel that two adults are ganging up on him.

The next piece of step parenting advice may seem odd to you—expect your step
children to hate you. When I say “expect,” I don’t mean that you should turn
expectations into reality, but that you must understand that children of divorce
usually want nothing more than their birth parents to get back together. Regardless
of how you met your spouse, on some level, your step children may despise you and
blame you for her parents being apart. This is normal child behavior and has to do
with the child’s limited perspective and understanding of adult
relationships.

The child may also fear that you are trying to replace her mother. Assure her that
you are not. Realize that in the child’s eyes, you may never be considered as more
than an aunt. Accept this role graciously. If your step child likes you, she may also
feel conflicted. She may feel that expressing love toward you is equivalent to
betraying her mother.

Rather than focusing on the conflicts in your home (and there will be conflicts),
invest your energy in creating good times. This doesn’t mean you need to go on
expensive trips or outings, it means you work to create a peaceful environment.
During the good times when everyone is happy, bonded and relaxed, you can gently
and positively bring up the difficulties and ask your children, step children and
spouse what they can do to help resolve the problem. In this way, you make
everyone part of the solution.

One of the biggest difficulties in a blended family is that family members have
different needs. When you need something, ask for it, rather than complaining and
criticizing others for not giving it to you. If you ask for what you need or want, your
family members will be more receptive and responsive than if you harp on them or
expect them to meet needs you have not expressed. This is a good piece of advice
for any family, blended or not.

Perhaps the most important piece of step parenting advice is to strive to be more
reflective, insightful, compassionate and humane. Focus on the areas in which you
need to grow as a parent and a human being and your children and step children
will follow your lead.

Laura Ramirez is the author of the award-winning book,
Keepers of the Children: Native American Wisdom and
Parenting -
http://www.walk-in-peace.com - it is the only book
that combines ancient native
ideas with heart-centered psychology to teach parents
how to raise children to develop their strengths and unfold
their unique spiritual nature. Laura has a degree in psychology,
is the mother of two boys and the wife of a Pascua-Yaqui
Native American man. She has a degree in psychology and is
the publisher of Family Matters Parenting Magazine -
http://www.parenting-child-development.com - which offers
insights into the core issues today’s parents face from under-
standing the true meaning of discipline to dealing with
school violence.

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Step parenting ultimately means being a step away from being a parent. Even if you have no intention of parenting, at the very least you are expected to step in when the real parent is absent. Like it or not, in a blended family you will do some parenting.

Step parenting takes both, you and the biological parent. This relationship has to be solid unit. While it may take time to earn the respect of stepchildren, you nevertheless need the complete support of the biological parent. Your relationship will be on the display table and stepchildren take their cues from the strength of this relationship. If this relationship is weak and characterized by arguments, you the stepparent will be viewed as the weak link in this household. Not only do you and the real parent need to be a unified front, you also need to make your relationship a priority. When it comes down to the wire, real parents tend to side with their children, if the romantic relationship is unstable. This leads to power struggles, manipulation and disrespect. When stepchildren learn early on, that they cannot interfere with your relationship with their parent, they refrain from playing one against the other. They have no other choice, but to gradually accept you.

Make sure that you and the real parent agree on rules and expectations and let the stepchildren know what they are. Don’t try to be an overnight parent. Remember, your stepchildren most likely didn’t ask for you. While you can expect a civil treatment, which should be reinforced by the real parent, your stepchildren may remain distant and reserved for a while. They fear loosing their parent to you and it may take some time until you cease to be a threat. Here are a few tips on being a good stepparent:

·Be patient and allow for adjustment time
·Get involved with your stepchildren and show sincere interest.
·Don’t sit on the fence waiting for their reaction - it makes them more suspicious
·Be yourself and do not play a role in the presence of your stepchildren
·Enforce the rules that have been established for them
·Offer your help and ask them to help you with tasks
·Be a united front with the real parent
·Make your romantic relationship a priority
·Have an identity as a couple independent of the children
·Do things with the children and alone as a couple
·Insist on couple privacy
·Never say anything negative about any of their family members
·Allow them to love their other real parent, who is not living with them
·Be kind and be fair
·If they are old enough, let them know that they too are responsible for harmony

Being a stepparent comes with rewards and punishment. Be prepared for the ups and downs. However, if you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, the rewards may be well worth the effort.

© 2006 Allie Ochs

Allie Ochs, Relationship Expert, Coach, Speaker and the Author of “Are You Fit To Love?” ISBN 0-9720227-9-1. Her articles are published in numerous magazines and newsletters. She has appeared on radio and TV. To order her book or to take the Fit 2 Love! Test visit her website at http://www.fit2love.com. For FREE relationship/dating advice e-mail: askallie@fit2love.com

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