April 26, 2007

Marriage and Parenting: How to Find Unity Parenting a Blended Family

Tip! Even as infants it did not take long before curiosity and varying rates of development saw violations of personal space.

Do you know parents in blended families arugue over discipline issues? Both partners come into the marriage with their own parenting styles, and these styles can be very different. However, when the couple works together they can blend their individual styles to create the best way to correct the children. Read on to discover communication tips on how to find unity parenting step-children.

Tip! It is way too easy for someone to get hurt in a mess of toddlers

The following question is one of the most common that I get from parents of blended families.

Question:

My wife and I have been married for two years. She has a son by a previous marriage. We argue frequently about how to discipline him. I think she is way too lenient and she thinks I am too strict. How do we resolve this?

Answer:

This is a common scenario. One of the most important principles is to present a united front to the child. Any disagreements you have about disciplining the child should occur behind closed doors, not in front of the child.

Tip! be sure that you are buying a toy that really is for a toddler. Sometimes we may over-estimate them and treat them like bigger children.

Try to negotiate and find a common ground before the discipline is given. Remember your spouse is not the enemy; you are parenting partners. As a couple, you may want to read some books on discipline together. This may help you come to an agreement on how to handle discipline issues.

There may also be underlying issues contributing to your disagreements. For example, the lenient parent may be feeling guilty about his or her previous divorce.

On the other hand, the stricter parent may be insecure in establishing his or her authority. He or she may think that by being overly strict that they can gain better control over the children.

If you are continuing to fight over discipline issues, then consider seeking professional counseling.

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Tip! remember that the toy you are about to give should be creative and interesting. Remember that it should fit the age of the child. Just don’t forget to wrap the gift, and don’t give it bare to the toddler!
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