With all that’s going on for the mother, whether it be an emotional trauma from the child’s father, work, financial worries, sometimes it feels good to simply move on and be grateful at the chance for a new life partner. However, growing up without a father is never easy for a child, let alone having to go home one day with a mother announcing the arrival of a new permanent fixture in the home - a new stepfather whom the poor kid does not even know. Aside from the fact that children need more time getting used to changes as they find it hard to accept changes if these are not clearly explained to them.

Here are some thoughts to consider or to keep in mind when thinking about dating or marrying again:

1. Children need to feel loved. Allowing another person into you and your child’s life may send the wrong signals to your child. He or she might feel that he or she is being replaced in your life. Although it is important for you to know your new man by being alone with him on dates, it is just as much important for the success of your new relationship and for your child to include your child in some activities with your new beau. This will eliminate the feeling of being left out and assures your child that he or she is still very much a part of you and your new man’s life.

2. Maintain routines. Sometimes, when your children are of age, and if you and your child are emotionally close and have established routines and activities for the two of you, it is important to keep these activities and routines even at the arrival of a new man in your life. Your child needs to feel that your love for him or her will not change. Your child needs to be assured that your new man will never take your child’s place in your life.

3. Most importantly, introduce your man into your child’s life slowly. Give your child the time, emotional space and support to accept the changes in both your lives. Warm him or her into the idea of having a dad.

Single moms who have succeeded in bringing in a new dad for her child with the least resistance from her child is definitely a made mom.

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